sunshine on a message board

best quote i've seen in a really long time:

"It doesn't get easier. You get stronger."

I need to post this here so I can look at it whenever I need to.

DIANAKAMPA

BERRYBINX --

Sorry to hear abour your break-up. That is sad that you stopped hanging out with your mutual friends- I am sure that they understand, but they probably miss you, too!!

I think that if you feel up to it, you should GO to the party! Esp. since you feel like you wantto get out/meet some new people,etc. I would recommend that you bring a friend or two with you that can be your support in case seeing the Ex is really difficult. You guys can figure out some kind of signal that means, "Um, I need to get the heck out of here now!" Having a plan may ease your anxiety before you go, since you know that if you see him and it's too hard to stay, you can leave.

Also, if you drink, watch yourself (and maybe have your wing-girls watch you, too), to make sure that you don't get too tipsy and then possibly get more emotional (been there, done that, not pretty -- esp. with mascara on!).

One other thing - if you see The Boy and he seems like he's having an awesome time, it's not necessarily true. So, don't assume if he's living it up at the party that he's 'over you,' or anything -- chances are, he's probably still dealing with it (despite the fact that he's totally LAMESAUCE for breaking up with you, you fabulous girl, you!!!!).

Okay, that's enough of MHO.

Good luck -- keep posting when you need support (this is a new daily thread), and lean on your friends - that's what they're for!!!

((((BERRYBINX))))

##

reading this helped me so much. i smiled, i felt a little teary eyed, but best of all i felt confident. it's amazing how a little bit of positivity can motivate so much...i really feel good about this now. i can handle it, and i'm going to be better for it.

because...


"It doesn't get easier. You get stronger."

:) Thank you

things i need to write about:

-sigur ros

-nyc

-fear in brooklyn

-accordions on the L

-beyonce

-malden future

-hunting puffins

-education vs gothabilly

merlot mornings

the economy continues to slump, and sarah continues to be without a full-time job. this flu shot clinic is fine for now...but i hardly get any hours and it's ultra temporary. then what? it'll be hard as hell to get loans for school. and i'm not experienced enough to get the jobs that are available, but i can't gain any more experience so long as no entry-level jobs are opening...what's a girl to do?

i get frustrated so easily and consider altering my intended career choice. maybe it's time i gave up the dreams of publishing and settle for something else...but what? i've been steering towards book/magazine publishing for 3 years now and i've trained myself to enter that field, and i'm not sure what else to consider. marketing? pr? advertising? they wouldn't take me either because i'm not very experienced in anything but editorial and promotions. english teacher? bleh. i can't be a high school teacher until i look a little older than 17. no one would take me seriously, and i am nowhere near confident enough to stand in front of a class and educate.

i'm so in debt, without a car, school loans looming, health insurance disappearing, cat needs neutering...desperate times. i know i'm not the only one, but this is getting so frustrating. i worked so hard for so many years because that's what i was told was necessary to secure a job outside of school. i followed the rules and did everything i could to make myself marketable to employers but it wasn't enough.

complain complain complain complain complain

it's difficult not to let the desperation overwhelm me.

on a brighter note, i started jogging again today. i put in a solid 30 mins and it felt really good. i don't have any clinics tomorrow so i'll spend some more time jogging around the woods, or "jungle running" as my little brother called it.


after seeing craig ferguson on saturday night i'm so very attracted to him. who care's that he's 24 years older than me...i can't control my carnal desires. fergie's on my list.


oh yeah, nyc this weekend? i have no money but i really want to go. i have a feeling it would be an unbelievable weekend. but i have no money. no money at all. i hate this.